Conquoring Butt Shame: How New Orleans' Sissy Bounce Scene Helped Me Discover My Body

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You know what I find so empowering about Big Freedia? Well, you see, all my life I had butt shame. I was ashamed of my ass for being too big and too nice—a giant, constant attractor of unwanted attention—you know, the kind of unwanted attention that blames the victim for attracting it in the first place and for not knowing how to react. I’ve never had an eating disorder, but I was always very conscious of how big my butt was. I monitored it obsessively by trying on different pairs of shorts and seeing how they fit. I did this every day, all my life. And then I discovered Big Freedia, transgendered pioneer of the New Orleans-based Sissy Bounce scene.

“Bend over!” the self-proclaimed Queen Diva demanded in a booming, maternal voice. “I want ass everywhere, ass everywhere!” From here she transitioned into the song of the same title, and a sea of asses of every shape, texture, and color thrust into the air, immodestly clad, celebrating seemingly autonomous lives as they rippled and bounced to the rhythms of gluteal freedom. We call this dance, I later learned, twerking.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Hello, world. My name is Kendalle Fiasco. Perhaps you know me already--maybe you've seen me around metropolitan areas with my Willy Wonka boyfriend in lavish and complicated outfits, or maybe you've seen my mutant deer sculpture installation in articles or terrorizing people at festivals, parties, or galleries. Perchance a glimmer of recognition sparks behind your eyes because you've seen me start a flame war on at least one of various internet forums, brazenly opining and getting all in a tizzy about quality and equality. I hope to bring you quality, equality, and e-quality.

I am a woman of many opinions and autonomous philosophies. I am an artist, a theorist, and a semiotech. Other than that, I will barely identify myself; I believe identity is just an abbreviation of the self, and I wouldn't want you to typecast me as right/wrong/misguided/brilliant before you've given your open mind and I a chance to get to know each other. This is just the beginning of our relationship laden with laughs, tears, rage, drama, plot twists, and all the other unpredictable predicaments typical and transcendent of a sitcom. I hope you will find the courage and confidence to drop your character and surprise us both.

I am always pleased to have a sane, logical, respectful discourse if you happen not to agree with me on something. Please avoid ad hominem, though, because I may well verbally cut out your liver and destroy you. My propensity to do so has earned me the epithet of Decibel Jezebel. I am not a particularly mean person until I have been pushed beyond the bounds of my patience. A snarling darling. Yes.

Welcome to The Complete Fiasco!